Waking up in the morning (or afternoon) the first thing I do is check my phone. For some reason, I always do, even though such a practice is futile. On some days however, I do get to see that "new message" icon, only to receive spam mail from an ad or a senseless text from my dad.
It's depressing really, how I usually am with my phone, logged in on MSN, and somewhat active in facebook; and yet no one seems to send me any emails, calls nor messages.
There are times that I just leave my computer signed-in and after several hours I come back only to see a blank desktop.
This was then. From then on, I realized that "hoping" for something to happen is only futile and would only negatively affect my life as an individual in terms of growth and independence. In other words, it would just give me a bad day.
Nowadays, I just do things for me, not for others. I realized that I have to stop living my life around other people (not physically). I realized that I have to start living independently - I owe it to myself to live for myself.
I'm not trying to be selfish or anything, there is definitely a fine line between the two.
I don't want to feel hurt anymore. I don't want to need anyone anymore.
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