EP 34: So what if

So what if you hurt me, been done a thousand times, what's one more?
So what if you mislead me, I've always chose the wrong path anyway.
So what if you ignore me, even I fail to pay attention to my inner self.
So what if you play me, I've played around myself, and karma's a bitch.
So what if you reject me, I'll accept and take responsibility of my actions.
So what if you choose someone else, it's your life, it is your choice.
So what if you want to be friends, that's what everyone wants me to be anyway

So what if you don't?
Then I'll then be truly yours.

EP 33: The friend zone



EP 32: Did I say?

It has only been a week, and yet it seems longer than that. I know that I shouldn't make a big fuss about it; but at times it cannot be helped. To be completely honest, it's been tough, and I'm trying my best not to miss her - to no avail, I do.

I decided to keep my mind "busy" and filled with things. Not that I don't want to think about her, it's just that thinking of her makes me miss her, and missing her is tough - because there is nothing I can do, but wait.

I decided to hit the gym once again. Based on experience such an endeavor has always been good to me, always. It keeps me focused, keeps me disciplined, and more importantly, it gives me something to do, instead of spending my days missing you.

Oh, did I say that I miss her?

EP 31: There she goes


I meet this person.

I like this person.

Person leaves for a month.

I miss this person.




Poem by:
Me

EP 30: Be a man, do the right thing

I have come to realize how far off I've been sidetracked from the supposed nature I ought to have been. I have come to realize how my "self" wasn't the certain "self" I aspired to be during my younger years. In hindsight there may have been a roller coaster ride of events, influences, and experiences that created such a detour; however, post-hindsight tells me that I may be just making excuses.

I have become too soft, too lenient, too nice, too emotional, too needy. I complained more than I was supposed to (which is to not complain at all). I have succumbed to fear, failed to seize different days and moments, and taken the road "more" traveled. I made (up) excuses albeit didn't exist at all. Not so much that I failed per se, but more so the fact that I failed to rise from failure.

After meeting this certain someone, I have come to realize how "lost" I was - and how I needed to get back on track - get back in the game; become the person I've always known myself to be.

Life is too short to dwell on things that do not matter.
Life is too short for drama.
If you want something, go get it, period. (Will Smith, Pursuit of Happiness)
If life's a bitch, go slap it and get on with it.
Just do it.

EP 29: Failing, to Succeed

The last month of last year has been very tough. I've always dubbed that time as a "triple fail" so to speak.

The first accounts for my inability to keep a temporary job. I had a chance to prove myself to the "bosses" and retain employment; however, such an attempt was apparently futile. The sad thing was that I tried my best and I gave it my all - evidently, it wasn't good enough. Ultimately, I was let go...

The second accounts for my shortcomings regarding my application into the business program. Apparently, my grades weren't good enough. The sad part was - I was actually proud and happy of my 3.16 GPA.

The third accounts for history repeating itself. The person whom I have invested emotions in chose not to reciprocate. I've always seen her in a different way ever since I met her first in dance class. As much as I had hoped for such, I guess it just wasn't meant to be. "Moving on..."

All three compounded quickly and crashed as what it seems to be a heavy burden on my chest. It was difficult to bear, especially the latter - and at that point , recovering seemed to be but a remote idea to say the least.

As the great Michael Jordan said: "I have failed many times in my life, and that is why, I succeed..."

Quoted for truth.

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