Episode 5: Impulse101

It took me this long to realize how much of a victim I am of impulse. I guess it's acceptable to be somewhat impulsive at a certain degree; however mine just about takes the cake. My impulsivity, as I would like to put it, has been the bane of what seems to be my already non-standardized life. It has gone up to a whole new level whereas not only my choices are immensely affected, but the people around me as well.

Where do these impulses come from? My insatiable hunger for something more appealing? My dissatisfied notion of how life is at the moment? My subconsciously envious nature towards various objects of materialism? Or rather, does it root from the irrepressible hormonal atrocities my body promulgates?

Reasons can range from all of them, some of them, most of them, to other explanations beyond me.

It's not really the case of "not thinking before one's acting," because I still end up "thinking" about the certain choice my impulsivity generates; however, the cognitive part of such an endeavor leans more towards to on how to do/perform/obtain that generated choice rather than merely deciding whether to engage in such a frivolous act or not.

In other words, I think of HOW to get it, instead of supposedly thinking whether to get it or not.

So what's a person to do while constantly "pseudo-consciously" succumbing to the overwhelming power of impulse? What's a helpless being to do victimized by the dominant influence of such a supposedly meager psychological force?

To be continued...

Episode 4: Moving in

30 Days in after landing - my father, or rather, my father's good friend, found a place for us to live in. Yes, our very own place. No it wasn't a house, nor was it an apartment; it was sort of a room-like unit placed within a 4-story, hotel-like, elevator-equipped condominium.

The place wasn't too shabby at all. 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, a decent kitchen, a wide living room, with a fireplace to boot. Not to mention a balcony overlooking most of what surrounds the building just adjacent to the bedrooms.

The rooms weren't that big; however large enough to sleep in. Both had simply designed built-in closets while one of them, had a walk-in one, along with a bathroom inside. All windows had blinds by default and the doors had no locks at all. The walls along with the ceiling were freshly painted white and the floor was fully carpeted with a clean peach color.

Bathrooms each had a huge mirror on one side of them. One had a tub, while one had a shower closet. Generally the color scheme was pleasantly white, enabling a neat and clean feel upon entering the room.

The kitchen was well-equppied: a mircowave oven, a fridge, a dishwasher, an oven, a bunch of cupboards, a pantry, 2 sinks, and 4 various stoves. My mom would be pleased indeed.

The living room, which was easily the largest part of the "house," was basically empty space, carpet, and a fireplace. Oh yeah, there was a sort of a bay window at the far end of it where one could sit or even sleep on. Again, white white and more white... everything was pretty much white by default. It didn't bother me at all. I didn't mind white. At this point the place appeared to be really large and spacious. I wonder how it would look like once the whole family moves in and furnishes the place? I doubt it would seem as large and spacious anymore.

Not the most ideal place for a family of seven to live in; however, the place overall perpetuates a pleasant and welcoming atmosphere, and maybe, just maybe, this "unit" may very well be "home."

***


As I took pictures of the place, I realized how dull and lifeless the place was. It was empty. And as my family moves in the next day, there would be but cardboard boxes and fastfood to-go. This is a new start for us, our new home, and as the place implies - we have nothing, but ourselves to cling on. And as time goes by, we soon will gradually fill the place up... just as how we gradually grow into this new world of ours...