Episode 6: The BIG problem

Just as losing weight is a problem for an obese person, getting clear skin is, and has always been a huge problem of mine.

I have been struggling against acne for about 5 years now; and I didn't really mind it during the earlier stages since I've always thought that they were just a mere surge of hormones during our teen years. However, now that I am an adult, I have been worrying about it more than ever.

Just before moving here to Canada, it wasn't at all bad - having one or two pimples or blackheads, with occasional breakouts. But now my face is at it's all time worst. You'd think that acne would peak during adolescence but no - it had to be now... now that I should normally have been done with it. But took me long enough to realize, that I wasn't normal... at least my skin isn't.

I have tried countless over-the-counter products and medications, and as much as they work for other "normal" people, they didn't at all for me.

It got so bad that it started to affect the people around me. My co-workers would always ask me what's wrong with my face or point out that I have a zit and some even offered to pop them for me - that's how much it bothers them! Well not as much as it bothers me!

It also affected my friends. As some of them would politely point them out to me, which is just as bad as most who would bluntly tease me about it. I can't really blame them for it. They have clear skin - just as I tease fat people because of my endomorphism - they have every right to say whatever they please.

It has also affected my confidence as well, my overall self-esteem, and my costumer service. As a Manager in one of the busiest fast food restaurants in the world, I have to deal "face-to-face" with hundreds of people a day, thousands a week. I always requested to be in charge of the kitchen area instead of the front counter area so that at least I was in the back - hiding my face from the world; however, such a feeble request wasn't always put up with. And believe me was it hard - never have I felt the desire to end an 8-hour shift so bad. An 8-hour time span for that matter.

Furthermore, it also affected my interaction with other people altogether. More often than not I would decline an offer to go out or to receive guests. As far as my studies are concern, my interaction with schoolmates is minimized to the extent that I don't really know anyone, strictly speaking.

This problem has basically affected most of the aspects of my life - and I am not at all happy about it, not one bit. I feel that I am in a downward spiral that - every time I see my face, I lose the will to do something productive.

This has to stop, this has to end... please, for my sake.

To be continued...